Planning for Parenthood: The Costs of LGBTQ+ Family-Building

There are several paths to parenthood for same-sex couples and LGBTQ+ individuals, and many involve assisted reproductive technology (ART). There are significant costs associated with the process, which is why it’s important to understand your choices and the potential financial commitment ahead of time. Having a clear picture early on can help you plan more confidently and avoid unexpected expenses along the way.

For LGBTQ+ families pursuing fertility treatment, one of the first decisions to make is choosing a sperm or egg donor.

Donor Sperm and Donor Eggs

Anonymous Donors

Same-sex female couples and single mothers by choice typically begin by selecting a sperm donor. Anonymous donor sperm is usually purchased by the vial, with each vial costing between $500 and $1,000. Most fertility clinics recommend purchasing two to three vials from the same donor, and some families choose to buy additional vials if they hope to use the same donor for future sibling cycles.

Similarly, same-sex male couples and single fathers by choice need to work with an egg donor. Anonymous donor eggs are often purchased in groups, commonly referred to as a “lot” or “cohort,” which usually includes six to eight frozen eggs. A single lot generally costs between $12,000 and $20,000, but that price does not include additional expenses such as thawing, fertilization, storage, or embryo transfer which typically cost an additional.

Eggs can also be obtained through a fresh egg donation cycle, which is typically more expensive but may offer the opportunity to retrieve a larger number of eggs from a single donor. Fresh donor egg cycles through established agencies often cost around $35,000 and usually include donor-related expenses such as compensation, screening, legal fees, and monitoring, while clinic and IVF-related costs (like fertilization, biopsy, and tissue storage) are billed separately on top of these costs. Although fresh cycles come at a higher upfront cost than frozen egg lots, some families choose this option in hopes of increasing the number of eggs available for embryo creation.

Known Donors

In some cases, families choose to work with a known donor. A known donor is usually a friend or family member (not genetically related to the other biological parent) who donates their eggs or sperm for the intended parents to use in building their family.

It’s often assumed that using a known donor will be less expensive than working with an anonymous donor, but that isn’t always true. Many of the costs associated with anonymous donors are already completed and bundled into the donor bank’s pricing. With a known donor, these same steps still need to happen and are typically paid for separately.

Common expenses associated with known donors include:

• Medical, Psychological, and Genetic screening ($1,500-$3,000)

• FDA-required infectious disease screening ($300-500)

• Legal fees to establish clear parental rights and responsibilities ($800-$2,000)

• Total: $2,500-$5,500 (does not include the cost of travel, donor insurance, stimulation medications, monitoring appointments, or the egg retrieval procedure)

In addition to the financial considerations, choosing a known donor often requires thoughtful conversations around expectations, boundaries, and long-term relationships. While these aren’t monetary costs, they are an important part of the decision-making process.

ART Treatment Options

IUI

An IUI (intrauterine insemination) is considered a lower-intervention form of fertility treatment and can be an option for females using donor sperm. During an IUI, the sperm is washed and then placed directly into the uterus using a thin catheter. The cost of an IUI varies depending on medication use and monitoring requirements, but can range from $400 to $5,000 per cycle.

IVF

For families pursuing IVF using donor sperm, the intended parent providing the eggs will take injectable fertility medications to stimulate their ovaries to produce multiple mature eggs. After about 10 days, the eggs are retrieved during a minor surgical procedure and fertilized with sperm in the lab. IVF costs can vary widely based on medication protocols, fertilization techniques, and geographic location, but all-in costs for IVF generally fall between $15,000 and $25,000 per cycle (not including the cost of the donor sperm).

After fertilization, the resulting embryos are allowed to develop for five to seven days before being transferred to the uterus or frozen for future use. Some families choose to genetically test embryos that reach the blastocyst stage. This testing, known as PGT, typically costs a total of about $5,000 per cycle. Whether this testing or other embryo testing is recommended depends on medical history and personal preferences.

The next step after creating embryos is the embryo transfer. The embryo transfer typically costs between $3,000 and $6000 dollars. Depending on the cycle type, it will typically include monitoring appointments and lab work, medications like estrogen and/or progesterone, and lab and procedure fees to thaw and transfer the embryo. 

Gestational Carrier (Surrogacy)

Another major cost consideration—particularly for same-sex male couples or single fathers by choice—is the use of a gestational carrier (surrogate). In these cases, embryos created using donor eggs are transferred into the uterus of a gestational carrier, who carries the pregnancy.

Using a gestational carrier involves many components, including a surrogacy agency, independent legal counsel, health insurance for the gestational carrier, medical expenses, travel, and lodging. Because of these factors, total costs typically range from $100,000 to $200,000. This cost usually includes the embryo transfer procedure, but often does not include the use of donor eggs or the intended parent’s IVF cycle costs to create the embryos. 

Some employers and fertility benefit programs offer stipends or coverage that can help offset part of these costs, which can make using a gestational carrier more financially accessible for some families.

Legal Fees and Requirements

Legal costs are another significant—and often underestimated—expense for some LGBTQ+ parents. Most intended parents using known donors and gestational carriers should consider hiring a reproductive law attorney to assist with donor agreements, surrogacy contracts, and establishing legal parentage through pre-birth or post-birth orders. Requirements vary by state and situation, which makes legal guidance especially important. 

Legal fees are typically paid out of pocket and can range from $7,000 to $20,000, depending on the complexity of your situation and the services required.

Financial Planning for LGBTQ+ Family Building

Estimated costs for common LGBTQ+ Fertility Options

Every family-building journey looks different. For some, using donor sperm with IUI may be the right fit. For others, building a family may involve an egg donor and a gestational carrier. While the steps and costs can vary significantly, each path is a valid way to reach the same goal: becoming a parent. Regardless of the path you take, having a clear understanding of the financial commitment involved can help you plan thoughtfully and move forward with greater confidence.

All in, becoming a parent as an LGBTQ+ person or couple can involve a substantial financial investment. While the costs can feel overwhelming, planning ahead can make a meaningful difference. Before starting treatment, it’s worth speaking with your employer or human resources team about fertility benefits, insurance coverage, and any available stipends that might help.

There are also grants specifically designed to support LGBTQ+ families, as well as loans and payment plans that can help spread costs over time. If you’re interested in exploring fertility grants that may apply to you, check out the RESOLVE grants and scholarships list.

Most importantly, remember that there is no single “right” path to parenthood. Taking the time to understand your options, build a realistic budget, and seek out support can help you move forward with greater confidence and focus on what matters most: building the family that’s right for you.