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How to Support Your Loved One Going Through Fertility Treatment

Berry

4 min read

Going through fertility treatment is a team effort. The demands—both emotional and logistical—can be overwhelming, which is why having a strong support system matters so much. But as a partner, it’s not always easy to know how to help or what to say. To take some of the guesswork out of it, here are a few meaningful ways you can show up and support your significant other during this journey.

Listen

One of the simplest, most powerful ways to support your partner is to truly listen. Listen to how they’re feeling, what worries them, and what questions they have. Listen and take notes during consultations and appointments with the doctor so your loved one can stay focused and present. It may sound basic, but being a calm, nonjudgmental presence can make a huge difference. Your partner doesn’t always need solutions—they need someone who hears them, validates their feelings, and offers a safe space to vent or celebrate the small wins.

Be Present

Another thing that may seem obvious, but can sometimes be overlooked, is to be physically present. Try to attend as many appointments as you can. Being there for support—and serving as a second set of eyes and ears or offering a hand to hold when things get uncomfortable—can mean more to your partner than you realize.

Being physically (or even virtually) present can mean the world to someone who is going through a process as isolating as fertility treatment.

Help Set Social Boundaries

As the main support person, one of your roles can be to help navigate social situations. Talk with your partner ahead of time about what they’re comfortable sharing and with whom. If a conversation turns uncomfortable, you can step in, shift the subject, or offer a simple, “We’re not ready to talk about that right now.” Working together to manage these moments can help ease the pressure and make social gatherings feel less overwhelming.

In an effort to be supportive, friends and relatives sometimes make comments that have good intentions, but are hurtful to the those going through infertility. Knowing the right thing to say can be hard. Here’s a few examples of comments frequently made and some things you can say instead.

What not to say:

  • “Just relax and it will happen”

  • “At least you know you can get pregnant.”

  • “Everything happens for a reason”

  • “My friend tried… [acupuncture, diet, supplement] and it worked!”

What you can say instead:

  • “This process is really stressful. I’m here if you need to talk.”

  • “I can’t imagine how hard this is. How are you doing?”

  • “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to support you.”

  • “I’m cheering for you. I hope that you have success with the treatment you’re starting.”

Share the Workload

Fertility treatment involves a lot of logistics—appointments, medications, insurance calls, and more. As a support person, taking on tasks like refilling prescriptions, handling billing, or sorting out insurance benefits can help lighten the load. These responsibilities can pile up quickly in combination with the emotional and physical demands of treatment, so sharing them can make a big difference. 

You can also help by assisting with medication administration if you're able. Injections can be tough, but having someone there to help makes the process feel less isolating—and reminds your partner they’re not in it alone.

Educate Yourself

Taking the initiative to learn about the fertility treatment process on your own shows that you’re truly invested in the process. A little research goes a long way—and your partner will appreciate knowing you're informed, prepared, and walking alongside them through it all.

A great way to educate yourself and learn about what to expect is through the Treatment Sharing feature in the Berry app. Treatment sharing allows you to keep up with every appointment, medication dose, and to-do. You can also read relevant resources at every stage of treatment.

Check out this article about treatment sharing for step-by-step instructions on how to share a treatment with your loved ones. Treatment Sharing: Share Your Fertility Treatment With a Partner or Friend

Sign Up for Berry Premium to access Treatment Sharing.

Encourage Self-Care and Prioritize Your Relationship

Finally, remember that life doesn’t have to stop during fertility treatment. Whether you're just beginning or deep in the process, it’s important to take breaks, spend time with loved ones, and find moments of joy. Fertility treatment can feel all-consuming, making it easy to forget how vital rest and emotional care really are. As the support person, you can gently encourage your partner to prioritize their well-being—and the health of your relationship—by making space for fun, downtime, and connection.


Support partners play a vital role during fertility treatment. While it can be hard to know exactly how to help, the most meaningful actions are often the simplest. Let your partner know you’re here for them—ready to listen, encourage, and be a steady source of comfort. Just showing up with empathy and care can make all the difference. You've got this.